


Memories Are Meant To Be Private

by TheDetectiveInTheTARDIS



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Canon Divergence, Explicit Rape/Non-Con, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-20 20:31:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2442092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDetectiveInTheTARDIS/pseuds/TheDetectiveInTheTARDIS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off of Jus in Bello: Season 3 Episode 12<br/>In which Ruby learns about Dean's past and demons can feel guilt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories Are Meant To Be Private

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of an AU because I gave Ruby the ability to look into someone's past.  
> Anamnesis (an-am-nee-sis) n.  
> The recollection or remembrance of the past; reminiscence.

"I'm virtuous." Dean said.  
Ruby looked at him like he was an idiot. "No, you're not. You're the least virtuous out of all of us."  
"But I am!" Dean protested, still not understanding her meaning.  
"Would you like me to tell everyone here just how you lost your virtue?"  
"Yeah, go ahead-"  
"Dean, you idiot! By virtue she means virginity!" Sam had finally lost patience.  
"Oh dear god, no. Don't tell them. Don't you dare tell them. I will send you straight back to hell." There was what appeared to be near panic in Dean's voice.  
Ruby laughed, delighted. Had Dean had a bad first time? Oh, it would be wonderful if it had been something embarrassing. "What? Were you unable to finish? Came as soon as she touched you? Couldn't even kiss right?"  
"No!" Dean yelled, looking increasingly upset.  
Ruby grinned. "Well, now I HAVE to know."  
She reached into Dean's mind, pulling apart his life to reach the memory she wanted. She was surprised how deep she had to dig to find it. Odd, normally a memory, even a really embarrassing one, wasn't this suppressed. Quickly, she slipped into the anamnesis.

...

Dean was fourteen years old.  
It was October 7, 1993.  
Dean was home alone, his father at a bar, and Sammy at a friend's house. Sam always has made friends faster. Whenever they moved, it was Sam who was missed, not Dean.  
His father came home drunk, stumbling in through the door and collapsing on the coach next to Dean. Dean had been watching a tv show that was mostly soft porn, so he made a motion as if to change the channel when John joined him. "Don't, Dean. This is fine."  
Dean nodded and put down the remote. After a while John grew restless, just staring at Dean.  
"Dean, come here." John ordered.  
Dean, ever obedient, moved so that he was sitting in his father'a lap.  
He felt an odd hardness beneath him, and began to shift, trying to get off it when his father moaned. Dean froze. John nuzzled his face into his son's neck. "You're so pretty." He murmured against the skin.  
Dean moved as if to get up, and John's arm shot out, holding him in place.  
John's other hand slipped down the waistband of Dean's jeans as Dean began to struggle.  
Dean felt his shirt being ripped of, and John's tongue slide up and down his back as he thrashed desperately.  
"Stop." John said, and Dean immediately ceased moving, hating himself for it. Even as he felt his father's meaty hands pulling off his jeans and then his underwear, he could not disobey.  
He dared not move as he felt John's hands leave him, and heard rather than saw the squelch of his father's fingers being slicked.  
Dean nearly collapsed from pain when the first entered him.  
John tried to distract him from the pain by massaging his balls, but that only felt wrong, and Dean remained limp.  
When the second finger entered and began scissoring, it was only his father's order of "Quiet." that kept Dean from screaming.  
After the third finger was added, Dean left his consciousness. He buried himself deep within his mind, and he was twelve again, playing with little eight year old Sammy.  
The dragging pull that was the removal of the fingers brought him back to the present.  
"Bend over."  
Dean leaned over the arm of the couch, hoping and praying that he was wrong about what came next.  
Then he felt the tip of his father's dick against his crack.  
Pushing in.  
Deeper than Dean would have believed possible.  
Tearing him up inside.  
Then it was dragging back out.  
And shoving back in.  
Until Dean's world was reduced to the sound of wet slaps and his father's grunts and pain, excruciating pain.  
Then a slick wetness, deep inside him where it had no right to be.  
He could feel John becoming flaccid inside him.  
Felt the wet pop as John stood and tucked his dick back into his pants.  
"Wash up." John said to his naked child, who was lying broken on the arm of the couch, violated and destroyed beyond any measure.  
But his father had given him an order.  
So Dean followed it.

...

This wasn't the only memory Dean had of his dad fucking him. Many more assaulted Ruby, seeming to increase tenfold once Sam had left for college.  
Ruby stared at Dean as she came back to herself.  
She covered her mouth with a hand, holding back vomit and disgust.  
"I'm sorry, Dean, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have. God, I'd had no idea. Oh my god."  
Ruby left without arguing that they sacrifice the virgin.  
She didn't even bother to chastise the boys when their plan became a failure.  
But she did know that if she were ever to return to Hell, she would be paying John Winchester a special visit.


End file.
